New Beginnings

Journeys tend to begin with some degree of passion, charge, or dedication – these adventures are sometimes difficult to continue, especially if someone in your life has expressed their dislike for the choices you make. That’s just the thing though! It’s your life. The choices you make define who you are as a person and what you’re willing to put out there. So, here I am today, putting it all out there:

I am Pagan. I practice an Earth-based religion, which consists of me communing with the nature surrounding me. Someone out there is crapping their pants now, I’m sure! My goal with this blog is to give insight into Pagan culture to others who may not fully understand the purposes, the practices, and the people involved. It’s a whole ‘nother world out here, lemme tell ya! And I plan to make it known that Pagan people are human, just like the Christian, the Jew, the Buddhist, and every religion in between and outside. That’s why I’ve named this blog “The Pagan Person”. Because, yes, I might practice what some call “magic,” but it makes me no less of a person than anyone else. In fact, I’m completely and utterly, almost boringly, normal!

This is a brave new beginning for me, this blog. I’ve tried blogging and journaling before, and never stuck with it, be it because of my Gemini inclinations or otherwise. 😉 I am doing a dedication ritual to commit myself spiritually to this endeavor. My experience as a Pagan so far has been one of struggle, and I empathize with every Pagan who is nodding their head in agreement this very second! I’ve dealt with loads of criticism, friends and family poking fun, people thinking of me as somewhat of a joke. This of course is painful to endure, but it also stimulates a certain amount of thick skin to grow, which is a requirement if you want to pursue this way of being! I am still in the process of growing this thick skin (as I’m typing these words, I’m suddenly very grossed out by the term!), and as part of this process, I will be using this blog as a tool for my own sanity and growth as a human being.

I hope you’ll join me on this journey! I hope that one day, some day, I might be able to connect with a Pagan or two, make a few friends, and hopefully be able to positively affect someone’s life with the understanding that as the human race, we all go through things. It’s just a matter of getting through it…together!

Love, and blessings,

The Pagan Person

Amazing Day

Sometimes the Universe speaks to you, ya know?

Today in my poetry class, a girl who I’ve been sitting next to and speaking with since the semester started suddenly asked me how I feel about Paganism and Wicca. I said, “are you kidding??? I AM Pagan!” XD

We both smiled ear to ear with excitement at the idea of there being two Pagans in one classroom in a conservative state. After class was over, we walked together across campus, and lo and behold another girl from the class came up to walk along with us, and my newfound Pagan friend says, “Oh yeah, she’s Pagan too!” My eyes got really big. I mean…two people in one day? In the same class?! This had never happened to me before, so I was a bit taken aback and super happy about it! All three of us chatted about our individual paths as we walked. And you’ll never guess what happened next…

ANOTHER GIRL FROM POETRY CLASS came up to us. She asked me in particular what Paganism is all about because she’s been interested in practicing for a while now but was uncertain about it. I swear my jaw dropped to the damn floor! I mean, what are the odds? Especially in our region! I suddenly had three Pagan or Pagan-interested companions from one class connecting with me. It was the most amazing feeling! We all talked to the interested girl and she asked a few questions. We all exchanged numbers.

I’ve had the issue of not being able to connect face to face that much with Pagan peeps while here in Kansas. Pretty much my entire Pagan existence is online. So when all at once three potential friendships burst into life in front of my eyes, it made me want to cry incredibly happy tears! The best part is that all three of them seem to be non-judgmental and very inclusive.

I don’t know about you guys, but I know that for me, finding community in this life is so important. It’s easy to feel incredibly alone in your practice when you can’t necessarily find like-minded people to interact with. Online community has certainly been an absolute blessing for me, but there’s something different and special about a physical interaction, know what I mean?

That was my day. The Universe spoke. I believe she said, “Here. You need this.”

Till next time,

Love and Blessings,

The Pagan Person

Back at it

Oh man, it’s been a while, huh!?

This has been one of my busiest semesters so far at uni. All of my classes have very strict assignment schedules so I always have to be on top of it. This ensures pretty much no time for anything other than schoolwork!

I did get a chance to swing by Pagan Pride a couple of weekends ago however. It was…ok. It was a much smaller scale than I thought it would be based on other Pagan Pride events I had seen on YouTube and such. But, I live in the middle of nowhereville, so it makes sense in the scheme of things. For as small as it was, I was pretty impressed with the amount of vendors! My daughter got some cool new crystals for her altar and a beautiful painting of a mandala that is perfect for her room. She thought it was pretty darn cool, so that’s what it came down to for me 🙂

She turned 10 last weekend. Double digits. I can’t even believe it. She’s growing up, showing a few curves here and there, close to hitting puberty, like right on the cusp! I’m incredibly nervous about it, although I don’t let on that I am in front of her. I’m trying to be the strong mom who will be on it when the time comes. But man, I think back to when I first started my cycle and how scary it was and how my mom reacted and…yeah. I always felt ashamed of it, because that’s how she viewed things. It’s how she was raised, to hide your period and never let anyone even guess that you might have it. I want to teach my daughter NOT to be ashamed, to understand that it’s a completely natural and beautiful aspect of her body, that she’s powerful because of it, that eventually it will be the reason she can create life. I want her to revel in her femininity and womanhood and confidence. I want her to be completely comfortable with talking about the subject with me, or her dad, or her step-dad, or her teacher (male or female), or her friends. I never felt that. The only person I could talk to was my mom, which was fine, but she told me not to bring it up with other people. Not gonna happen for her. She’s probably going to be one of those weird girls who talks about pooping and periods in the middle of class, and I’m all for it! XD

For any of you parents who have teenagers, I commend you. Seriously, you are superheroes. I hope I can be close to that one day!

Til next time…

Love and Blessings,

The Pagan Person

Retro-whatever

I don’t know how much stock I put into the retrograde stuff, astrology wise. I love astrology, don’t get me wrong! But there’s something about knowing some of the astronomical science behind “retrograde” that makes me second guess some stuff. Regardless though, I love astrology!

I will say, that every single retrograde, I do feel different, and things do tend to go a little haywire for me. I don’t know if that’s psychological, coincidence, or fact, but it happens. This week has just been a total mess, and of course, Mercury retrograde is nearing its end, peaking in its last lengths.

I’m recovered though, mostly. And there’s good news in the works hopefully as well, so there’s that!

I’m seeking some advice, on another note. A family member who is close to me (my significant other) is deeply disturbed by my Paganism. It was expressed to me over the weekend how much so. And it’s a lot. Most of me says, screw that, it’s my religion and I’ve every right! Then another part of me says, do I make sacrifices for my other half? I don’t really know where to draw the line, where to make compromises. He says how much it disturbs him, but then he says he doesn’t want me to put my stuff away in boxes. Then he says, he does want me to stop, but he can’t make me, so he won’t. He says it scares him.

I tried suggesting that he do some of his own research on his own time, just to check it out. I have expressed what Paganism means to me and what I do, but he doesn’t seem to believe that I really know what I’m doing, I guess. He’s not religious either, so it’s a really odd situation. He never really said if he was going to do research or not, and most of me thinks he won’t because he already thinks he knows all about it. I really don’t know what to do. Has anyone gone through something similar? Any suggestions, tips, tricks? It’s certainly frustrating when the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with is disturbed by something so dear to your heart.

😦

To be clear, I truly love my husband. He’s my knight in shining armor, always has been. There’s a streak of selfishness within him that he struggles with on a daily basis though, and it has been tough to get through, leading me on several occasions to consider leaving the situation. But I stick around, because my love for him really is magnetic, it seems.

Till next time…

Love and Blessings,

The Pagan Person

Those youngin’s’!!

School is keeping me pretty darn busy, so I don’t get to post as often as I’d wish, but that’s ok!

Ok, so, pet peeve:  If you’ve ever taken an online college class, then you’ve probably had experiences where certain people simply don’t listen to the instructor’s direction, and end up posting whatever the hell pops into their heads, yeah? Or, the classic, “This was an interesting chapter, I liked it,” and nothing else. This bugs the crap out of me!

Here’s the thing. I don’t claim to be this super intelligent person. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m around 10 years older than these other kids just out of high school, so it’s a maturity thing. But this isn’t high school anymore, kids! You’ve gotta work for what you want. Someone is paying for your college, if it isn’t you. It’s your potential career, your livelihood, your future. Take it seriously! Follow direction! Do your best!

It just irks me, man! XD

In other news:

• PT is going well still.
• I haven’t had time to look more into the Druidry stuff. But when I do, I shall post about it!
• I’m getting pumped up for Halloween/Samhain. My daughter and her friend are going to be yin and yang for Halloween, and I think that’s just awesome. I really want to do something special for Samhain, but haven’t quite figured out what yet. I will divulge when I do. (I’m thinking spirit stuff in general.)
• I dyed my hair burgundy, and I love it.

That’s all I got! Till next time…

Love and Blessings,

The Pagan Person

Uni, Poetry and PT

Uni has begun once again! It is SO nice to have something to keep my time, other than consistently playing video games. Don’t get me wrong, I love video gaming, but if I get sucked into it, I never get out. And that’s bad for everyone XD

My classes:  Human Impact on the Environment, Thinking like a Feminist, Poetry Writing, and Advanced Composition.

Adv. Comp is a bit challenging. I much prefer fiction writing over essays, but I’m pretty good at essays and sounding all profesh. *Don’t worry, I don’t use words like “profesh” in my essays!* But it’s not enjoyable for me. The act of analyzing written works and talking about them is much more engaging to me than writing about it. I think it’s because most of the time I enjoy the conversations over one sided speaking/writing. I always end up doing very well being graded on them though, so I guess I should stop complaining 😉

Human Impact on the Environment is so far one of my favorite classes. There is so much information out there that doesn’t get distributed through mainstream media, thus not many people know about it. I plan to discuss some of those things in this blog throughout the semester, because so much of it ties in with Paganism.

I haven’t been to my Feminism class just yet. The professor emailed the classmates letting us know she had a bad fall and apparently busted her face open…so it’s delayed a bit. How awful, right?! What a way to start off the semester. I’m really looking forward to the course though, when it does start. I’ll probably be writing about a lot of that information as well!

My poetry class is by far my absolute favorite! Again, I like fiction writing, and for me, Poetry falls into that wide range of ideas. Creative writing I guess is more accurate. My professor is super relatable, and very humorous. He’s very much into the technical side of poetry, but doesn’t sacrifice creative expression. I’m so excited to further develop my poetry! I don’t post a lot of my poetry, but I think I’ll give you guys a little taste today.

 

Spilling Sand

shadows harness their cameos,


shredding shades of life.


little children moving from home -
 they lived out their lives


in green, yellow, and gold.


the browns, they fly away


through the blades that 
shoot still upwards.


tall bodies stand with pride.


they will bud new children next year.


and here I sit in the shadows,


spilling sand into my eyes.

 

I tend to write my poems in all lowercase. Not sure why, but it’s been like that since I can remember. I think it’s because I always view them as unfinished. This poem was written a long time ago, like I’m talking years, but it’s always been one of my favorites that I’ve written.

Anyways, I’ve rambled on enough about school!

Physical therapy has been absolutely awesome! I don’t know why I was so afraid of it before now. Well, I do. It was fear of the unknown. I’m such a baby when it comes to pain of any kind, so I get kinda whiney about it XD

That’s all I got! Till next time…

Love and Blessings,

The Pagan Person

Eclipsed emotions

Although in my area, the sky was a cloudy mess, I was still able to glimpse the solar eclipse at about half crescent and just after totality. As I gazed into the sky (with my safe eclipse viewing glasses of course), I suddenly spotted the *almost* totality and became very emotional. It was a mix of awe, devotion, and desire. Just the sheer magic of what was happening, the science, the unbelievable spectacle of our Universe’s power and beauty, was enough to tear me up.

I sincerely revere our galaxy and the abyss beyond. It’s beyond my comprehension in so many ways, but so incredibly beautiful, and I strive to allow the beauty of it all to guide me in my spiritual journey.

Till next time…

Love and Blessings,

The Pagan Person

Science & Spirituality

“The Earth’s endless chemical cycling connects all past, present, and future forms of life to each other and to their environment. Some of the carbon atoms found in your skin may once have been part of a dinosaur’s claw, a maple leaf or a piece of limestone. Some of the nitrogen atoms in the breath you just took may have been inhaled by a cave dweller who lived 30,000 years ago or by Julius Caesar of ancient Rome. And your great-great grandchildren might someday inhale some of those same nitrogen atoms.” (From Environmental Issues & Solutions by Norman Myers and Scott E. Spoolman.)

My uni classes began today, and one of them (Human Impact on the Environment) gave me this amazing quote to think about. I decided to blog it because I really think it goes hand in hand with spirituality and Paganism. This is how science and spirituality can interconnect. Spiritual connection for me is rooted in this very quote. A realization that the scientifically discovered materials that make up a human being are connected to our Earth Mother in every way, shape, and form. All of the molecules, all of the microscopic pieces of your being are intertwined with and originated from Earth herself. This connects us physically to Earth, but also spiritually in my humble opinion. Spirituality can be described as a concept of connection to something greater than yourself, and what better way to describe it than this? You are Earth and Earth is You. You can’t get more connected than that!

I feel like I’m going to like this class 🙂

Till next time,

Love and Blessings,

The Pagan Person

Thoughts on Druidry

My path has brought me to a place where I don’t see the necessity of giving myself a label of any kind besides “Pagan.” “Pagan” however is such an umbrella term, that it’s almost useless to claim it as a label of specificity.

The humble pies I’ve eaten over the past few years have shown me that labels can be helpful for the Pagan involved if only to feel defined by something, or because they truly connect on a deep level with the label itself and what it represents. It has also shown me that if you have not found a label that fits your many facets of spirituality, it’s ok! That’s where I’ve been for a while now. For a bit in the beginning, I called myself an eclectic witch, which is still accurate. However, I finally came across a word and its meaning that struck me as exactly the path I have chosen, and that’s Druidism.

Practicing Druids mainly live by three concepts:  connection with and love of nature, wisdom, and creativity. While reading about the ideas in this tradition, I was truly moved and it spoke to me in a very deep way.

Now, this does not change my opinion on labels. I do not feel the need to have one, nor to claim to be anything other than a nature loving freakazoid 😉

Nevertheless, “Druidism” gave me chills.

I wonder what this means for my path? Will I continue on this journey? As a staunch Gemini, I crave to know all the things, so I will move forward with further research on this and other paths, if only to know more!

I will say…claiming a label kind of makes me nervous. I think it’s because I know myself and my tendency to switch from thing to thing. It’s a strong trait of mine. I’m always of the mind that if I choose to call myself this or that, will I end up making a fool of myself later on when I decide to change it to that or this?

Only time will tell I guess. But for now, I claim Pagan, no matter how illogical that might be. 🙂

Till next time,

Love and blessings,

The Pagan Person

Progress

The other day, I got the last of my sutures out (from the pins in my wrist being removed). Since then, I’m FINALLY able to WASH MY ARM!!!

*I know! Gross right?!*

It was in a splint for a long time, then a cast for a long time, and then a splint for a long time again. But now, I only have to wear a brace at night. In an earlier post, I was complaining about how hard it was to move my hand and how scared I was of physical therapy. Not much has changed there, because I am still a bit nervous (my first appointment is August 17), however, since writing that post, I’m able to move my hand a bit more! So there’s progress that I wasn’t sure would happen. Now I know 🙂

It made me think about my younger self. My younger self would not have been diligent about doing the hand exercises necessary to get it moving again. My younger self would have wallowed in my pity, would have slothed around not wanting to do anything. My younger self would have been much more immature in the matter. It makes me glad to have grown up a bit 🙂

I am a full-fledged, wholehearted Gemini to the max. My ideas, my decisions shift and change like jelly. I go back and forth and side to side on pretty much everything. But the one thing that I have stuck with infallibly is my Pagan practice, and I’m so thankful for that. I really do believe my spirit has an effect on my physical body and its healing. Being consistent is hard for me, but I’ve nailed it this time, and I’m super proud of myself!

One thing that’s really helping my hand is playing video games. *irony* I recently got the Nintendo Switch and the new Legend of Zelda game (I’m a Zelda freak by the way. Yes, I know I’m 31. Yes, I know I’m probably too old for hardcore fandom XD.) (Nope, that’s a lie, no one is too old for hardcore fandom!) I am having the best time playing it! And having to hold the controller and use all the buttons has been seriously helping the movement in my hand and fingers. So, yay!

That’s all I got. Till next time…

Love and Blessings,

The Pagan Person

Gemma, familiar to my daughter

I figured out that this beautiful beast is destined to be my daughter’s familiar. She is her protector, follows her around, sleeps with her at night, attacks anyone who messes with her, and seems interested in her developing practice. What a beautiful relationship :).

Till next time…

Love and blessings,

The Pagan Person